Confessions Of A Stutterer (Overcoming)

Confessions Of A Stutterer

As a small boy; around the age of seven, I developed the stutter. I say "developed" because I never used to have it, or so I'm told. I had a cousin of mine a bit older than I was who had it mildly. I used to tease her every time she stammered in what I took to be a good humoured way. I would imitate her despite warning I could call the scourge upon myself. I took all this as superstitious of course; or perhaps I had spoken too soon.

 I started to stammer around this time. The stammering wasn't as bad as one of my friends. The same had to bang his chair and or table in frustrated effort to force the words out. It gets really annoying when all of a sudden you cannot say and speak the way you want to. Its like being misrepresented by your own body. I had to learn to avoid some words as they caused me to trip a lot. I had to find new words in their stead. A read lots of books and quickly developed a large vocabulary that allowed me to bypass the stutter. I grew to realise that the stutter became almost completely diminished when I spoke with an accent. It felt all very artificial at first but soon got the gist of it; over articulating now and then to ride over those rough and terrifying words. 

 On top of all this juggling I began to speak really really fast. I spoke so fast I had to consciously slow down to allow people to hear me. I take it that my body developed this habit as a mechanism for overcoming my stutter. Though this was a sure way of making it worse; I spoke so fast such that I sledge-hammered my way through words. I spoke almost fluently in English but stammered like mad in my own language of Setswana. It was so bad that sometimes words couldn't come out no matter how hard I tried. Because of this, I stammered so much around my grandparents and extended members of family who I was expected to communicate in my native language. 

 Stammering can be very painful. Not physically, but emotionally. It was especially more painful for a boy like me with this huge vocabulary and great quotes in mind not to be able to express them. I could always tell a mile away if a word or phrase was going to trip me up. Many a times I've kept quite when I really wanted to contribute to a conversation or share a really funny joke. I just knew, and still do, that I could not be able to let out the perfect sentence I have formulated in my mind. 

 However; you will be shocked, dear readers, to know that there is a situation in which I do not stammer AT ALL; I mean completely zero stammering and zero fear of stuttering whatsoever. This is when I speak in front of an audience. In fact, the bigger the audience the better. I quickly grew to extrapolate that the reason this was because of the voice elevation I had to assume when speaking to a crowd of people. Lets liken speaking to opening a springed door just for a moment. Force is needed to open this door, after which it springs closed. A force smaller than the minimum force will not open this door; if anything much it will cause the door to flutter and close quickly. My chances of stammering, I've noticed, are much higher when i have a one on one conversation with someone. This is because; I deduced, I have to lower my voice to an extent that air rushing through my vocal cords it too weak to overcome the "tendency" of the stuttering muscular reflex. On the contrary, speaking to an audience gives me the excuse to elevate and project my voice so high and so powerfully that my vocal cords couldn't surely fail me. In these situations, I've always felt invincible and unable to stammer. 

 I am really good at public speaking and have been commended at that. I have, on multiple occasions been awarded best speaker in my Junior schools debate competitions and speak incredibly fluent in front of school assemblies. It came as a surprise then when I discovered a pattern when I looked up famous people who stammered. Most of them where into politics(public speaking) and the arts(acting and performing on stage) All these activities required higher voice elevation and pitch variations. Most of them also believed in the importance of having a large vocabulary for substitution of words. 

 Bruce Willis overcame his stutter by performing on stage and memorising words 

 James Earl Jones overcame by reading poems whilst looking himself in the mirror. 

There are many others who overcame their stutter in similar ways. I mention here Joe Biden, who like me overcame he's stutter by reading out poems. This is all part of re-training our minds and vocal cords what proper speaking is all about. Godspeed to all in this exciting journey of self discovery. Good luck my friends!

Luck Favors Only The Prepared~Luis Pasteur

Studious men of rhetoric and purely academic minds do not usually believe in luck; that success can come about by lucky circumstances such as being at the right place at the right time by chance. They believe that success and breakthroughs can only be attained by labored precision and accuracy, with no room left for chance or skepticism. To an extent they are right; right that diligence is that preparation necessary to cease opportunities when they do present themselves. But in a field where everyone is quite good, sheer luck and chance tends to play a role.

Consider this for example. A writer’s book gets published by New York Times because he’s bright letterhead caught the attention of the publisher who was otherwise day dreaming of daisies. This guy then grows on to be popular and acclaimed as a renowned story writer endowed with the gift of ancient story tellers. Other writers start to quote his words in their own books, thus his works reaches more and more people; so more and more people buy his book which soon becomes a best seller selling ten million copies. This guy’s success cannot be purely attributed to the hard work he put in, but also the element of chance that played a significant role. Most probably he’s manuscript wasn’t the best in the chaos of other books. But because he’s got read(by chance) it displaced all the other books, which were probably more noteworthy and aesthetic.

If you ever happen to read Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s “The Black Swan” (which you should at some point in your life) you’ll happen to come across his notion about how the American system works “simply because it allows people to be lucky by aggressive trial and error.” So good writers will not always be the one’s who’s books get published, but who’s books(by chance) get the attention of the day dreaming publisher! Of course the book has to be a good one to be actually published, but not necessarily the BEST. You’ll also discover in this amazing book why it’s easy for “the rich get richer whilst the poor get poorer.” Sorry for using the book and publisher analogy, but I can’t think of anything else. A book writer gets published and he’s book becomes a bestseller from that. Other writers quote his words, thus increasing his audience. He later quotes them too in his newer books, thus becoming an “I quote you and you quote me situation.” This creates a caliber or class of book writers, who the world will take as the epitome and prodigies of literature. The works of other writers gets forgotten and diminished, therefore never seeing the light of day even though their works are greater. They sag and complain (rather than send their manuscript to other reputable publishers, or just write another book)

#AgressiveTrial&Error

Who Are True Friends Then...

No man is an island. With that said, it is impossible for you and me to live in this world without having to interact with the people in our lives. Every business is simply people dealing with other people. Human beings are social beings; therefore necessitating they're need to receive some amount of affection and recognition from others. This is were friends come in.

Have you taken time to look around your friend cirles to consider who's a true friend; because everyone can be a friend, but a "true friend" acts in a certain way. For one a true friend lets you know they need you. There's no greater feeling in the world than to feel needed and appreciated. Therefore a true friend will not only share with you their dreams and goals...but let you know they need you to accomplish them.... Now thats a true friend and the feeling that gives you when they say that to you is priceless.

A true friend will believe in you. They see you for who you are and not who you are not. When you're sick, stagnant in life or feel like a complete failure (even when that is true) a true friend will look and appreciate the person you can become. A true friend trusts unconditionally. How much trust you ask me...well, I alwasy tell my friends that if any of them were to come from a restroom with bloody hands and a knife in their hand leaving a dead body behind; I'd defend them, "No my friend didnt do that...no he didnt. He must have tripped over the person or something ....falling over their bloody body... thats why he has blood in his hands." and how do you explain why he has the knife..."well I dont know, to shave his head what else." but your friend admitted to killing that lady...."no his paranoid, his not himself...yeah thats rigth...he probably had one too many cups of coffee this morning...yeah thats it." Hahaha, I just love my friends, true friends.